Breaking Brown

August 24, 2015

Meet the Black Woman Who Is Uncomfortable Around Black People

Meet the Black Woman Who Is Uncomfortable Around Black People

A black woman who was raised in a mostly white area says she has always felt like an outsider among black people.

In a editorial for Salon, Danielle Small says she became aware of her outsider status when her hairstylist tried to give her the “black” handshake. According to Small, the handshake was a “black test” that she failed.

“It happened. I failed the ‘black’ test. My hair stylist and I were chatting while she was taking a break from retightening my locs. I made a funny quip, and she extended her palm so that we could partake in the standard Black American handshake,” Small wrote.

“In what was most likely the longest three seconds in the universe, I stared at her hand in befuddlement, trying to figure out what she was doing. By the time I realized that this was the handshake, it was too late. I tried to recover with some weird amalgamation of a fist bump and a high five, but the damage had been done. I had revealed myself to be the Carlton to her Fresh Prince.”

This “existential crisis” led Small to one conclusion: I’m uncomfortable around black people. This is a peculiar realization being that I am also a black person.”

Small says every time she walks into the barber shop where her stylist works, she feels uncomfortable that she is going to be “found out.”

In my mind when other black people see me, they’re thinking: ‘She may look black, but she’s not black black, if you know what I mean.'”

Small says she began getting accused of not being black while living in a mostly white area of Wisconsin.

“I know so many white girls that can gangsta walk better than you,” Small says she was told. “You’re not black, you can’t even dance!”

Now, however, Small says she is beginning to realize that there’s no one way to be black.

It’s taken some time, but now I’m aware that there is no ‘black test’ and that, even though I’m more Carlton than Fresh Prince, my blackness is still valid. My hair stylist doesn’t see me as some racial imposter.

What do you think of Small’s experience?

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76 thoughts on “Meet the Black Woman Who Is Uncomfortable Around Black People

  1. BMo2xl says:

    Cultural conditioning and internalized racism.

  2. dynastym says:

    She is uncomfortable because she is foreign to the environment. She just needs to get to know the environment is all. That takes time. She would feel just as if not more uncomfortable if she woke up on day and was in africa.

  3. Johnw11 says:

    My first thought in reading this article was Ms. Small is suffering from a form of EID (ethnic identity disorder) which is not as uncommon as some people might believe. (I have not read the Salon article and probably will not read it in the near future.)
    However, as I continued to read the BreakingBrown article, it became clear that all we have here is a case of “cultural incompetence” that causes Ms. Small to experience “social anxiety,” which she describes as feeling “uncomfortable” around other Blacks. Since she was socialized in a primarily white cultural context, this is understandable.
    It is also a positive development that she is beginning to understand that, actually, there is no singular way to “be Black” socio-culturally. What struck me as odd from the outset is her hairstyle — before I read that she wore, or once wore, locks. Generally speaking, EIDs will color their hair the blondest of blond, wear colored contact lenses, and tell you (as if the visuals don’t speak loudly enough) that they wish they were white, the more delusional ones will declare themselves “white.” 
    I see no reason to castigate Ms. Small.
    What I do see is that this story provides an opportunity to address a far more serious obstacle to Blacks’ advancement than Ms. Small presents. What about those Blacks who feel perfectly “comfortable” around other Blacks socially, yet view Blacks as being the cause of their own socio-economic oppression? Pushing out of ignorance the fatuitous idea that the Black-white wealth gap, for example, is the fault of Blacks “irresponsible” spending behavior, etc.
    Finally, what Blacks must come to understand is that “handshakes,” “style of dress,” and various word “slangs,” etc., do not, and never did make Blacks “Black.” These behaviors are “subcultural” in their social nature and do not define the “Black experience.”
    What defines the Black experience is the oppressive way in which all Blacks are treated in their socio-economic-political realities. For example, you are Black if you are a college grad and have lost 56% of your wealth since 1992, you are Black because, on average, a white high-school dropout has more wealth than you, even if you are a college grad. You are Black if you are 31 x more likely to be killed by a law enforcement or vigilante person than is a white. You are Black if your unemployment rate is double that of whites. You are Black if 1.5 million of your men folk are “missing” from society, due to incarceration and early graves resulting from socio-economic policies.
    Those are the things that make Blacks “Black,” the commonality of their oppression, not some meaningless handshake, or slang word, which at best define one’s social class, and not race.
    As soon as these things are understood by a critical mass of Blacks, and the “Black mis-leadership class” is told — paraphrasing Ron Isley — to “pack your  bags, and call a cab, because you’re busted,” corrective actions can proceed with a much higher probability of success.

  4. Johnw11 says:

    BMo2xl  “Cultural conditioning,” yes. But “internalized racism,” I see no evidence of that. An example of “internalized racism” would be Blacks blaming Blacks for the effects of racism’s exploitation of Blacks. I read it in comments all the time; “Blacks are stupid,” “Blacks have all the wealth they need [LOL], but shop unwisely, and then blame racism,” etc.
    Those are salient examples of “internalized racism,” because not only are the assertions untrue, but they are precisely what racists say in their “victim blaming” rationalizing of their treatment of Blacks.
    But maybe you are seeing deeper than I am, when you characterize Ms. Small’s sense of socio-cultural incompetence as “internalized racism.”
    If you’d care to elaborate, I am willing to listen.

  5. jillabuss says:

    Attack this woman as many may, yet I sympathize with her. This week end brought that same uncomfortable feeling when 3 African American women showed how violent we are with one another.  While shopping at J.C. Penny, three women’s children were sitting on the counter, destroying everything on it. Ripping the candy open and eating it on the spot, while stuffing their pockets candy and anything else that would fit. The woman in line in front of me questioned who the children belonged to, and would they get their children.They responded by telling the woman to mind her own business, after all, ” they are only children”. She responded by telling them the children were destroying the merchandise on the counter and stealing candy, and that they should control them. They further started threatening the woman with violence. After listening to the hostile, aggressive attack on this woman I came to her defense by stating they should train their children better, and I became their focus. As one approached me in a threatening manner, I told her do not bring that “thug” type attitude to me because they were wrong. We then became the worse Black MFERS in the world. Times and incidents like this makes me ashamed at times to be Black. Many instances can be highlighted that would cause anyone of us to be ashamed of being black. We should check ourselves because Yes we are wrecking Ourselves. Perhaps if we treated one another with Respect, others would Respect us also.

  6. Rick Manigault says:

    jillabuss You are not black and Peggy Hubard piggy backers are all over the web trying to disparage my race. Look at Madame Noire for instance. No black person that reads news articles could ever think that blacks support theft at the JC penny counter. Even our small criminal class is to smart for such stupidity.

    We are under vicious attack by our enemies. Its go time.

  7. DonnaArtist says:

    Omg u hit it right on the spot! Blacks do get very hostile and confrontational when they get into situations and it just gets crazy.

  8. CarlyJoseph says:

    DonnaArtist “Blacks do get very hostile and confrontational when they get into situations and it just gets crazy.” Do you not realize this is racist…

  9. Rick Manigault says:

    CarlyJoseph We are under siege with blatant racial attacks all over the web. This is orchestrated and meant to coincide with that wench from Bellville Illinois.

  10. CarlyJoseph says:

    Rick Manigault CarlyJoseph probably

  11. EricaGardner says:

    That’s BS i dont know  the black handshake  but i don’t  feel uncomfortable  around us hell my white coworkers know it and i dont gotta be more like your attitude

  12. JESS2248 says:

    CarlyJoseph DonnaArtist She really said that didn’t she? Well, white people are racist. They get very offended when put in uncomfortable situations dealing with race, culture, ethnicity…etc, and that deep seeded racism surfaces; then they blame Obama for the division. They can’t help it.

  13. JESS2248 says:

    I’ll be nice and just say….she’s not very interesting.

  14. jrob909 says:

    I can definitely sympathize. As a young black male I definitely don’t fit the stereotypes. I SUCK at basketball and plenty of other sports. I don’t meticulously follow sports (this is more of an overall man thing).   And there a few other things. I’ve definitely missed out on a lot of friendships and opportunities due to fear of rejection. However, I’ve learned that people usually will accept you for who you are and if not then f em.

  15. latronbrown says:

    Same here…..should it be “bruh”…lol

  16. latronbrown says:

    The silly thing is…..we aren’t the only ones that get hostile…trust me. I’ve seen it plenty of times to know hostility isn’t exclusive.

  17. BayouCityBeauty says:

    I feel for her. I am a person, a woman, and Then I am a color, ethnic roup, etc…Not the other way around.

  18. BayouCityBeauty says:

    What was “nice” about that?

  19. BayouCityBeauty says:

    That’s not b.s if you’ve lived it. Working with some and growing up around mostly Caucasians is NoWhere near the same experience.

  20. BayouCityBeauty says:

    Really lady? That’s your final answer? “Blacks” do? Wow. You are very sad to me. & What situations are those? Ooohhh! You mean the ones where we are unjustly stereotyped by Caucasian Ignoramuses? Oh, Ok! I gotcha!

  21. BayouCityBeauty says:

    CarlyJoseph you are a sad fool

  22. Deebrown says:

    You are stereotyping because there is nothing and I mean nothing like the fury of a white man! When they get angry numerous people die.

  23. Deebrown says:

    You are stereotyping because there is nothing like the fury of a white man and I mean nothing! When a white man becomes angry numerous people die!

  24. JESS2248 says:

    BayouCityBeauty You don’t think that was nice? Okay, maybe not.

  25. JESS2248 says:

    BayouCityBeauty But that’s not what she said. She is attempting to basically distance herself by saying…”I’m black, yes….but I don’t act it”, I don’t know if it’s in an attempt to closer identify with “white people”, or to make herself more acceptable to them, but that’s what I got from the article. No? What you’re saying is you are a human being first, then a woman, and your culture last, in that order. I agree with you, but I don’t sympathize much with her. It’s more to our culture than silly handshakes, sports, and the ever so silly “black test”.

  26. MarkMacdonald1 says:

    she been on a quest to find herself an is probably as consciencously Black as possible.. After all if you put a cat in a field of dogs that cat will understand the differences more than the cat that has been in a field with only cats..(for want of a better analogy) Anyway glad the sista home now..Amandla

  27. jillabuss says:

    EricaGardner : Some of our people conduct themselves in ways that are frightening, especially around their own people. I can no longer take a mid night stroll in my neighborhood. I have to take special note of how I handle money in certain communities of ours. Even talking with some of our brothers and sisters can get uncomfortable at times. So Yes Some of My people Make me Uncomfortable.

  28. jillabuss says:

    Rick Manigault jillabuss : Whom ever You are I am probably darker than you. Born and raised in Chicago Illinois, on the South side. Gee your last name would make one wonder if You are Black or not. Yet that is not the point, I know what I witnessed with my own eyes. Say what you may I am an American of African Heritage, and yes some of my people frighten me. Their attitude, their dress, the concept of life, sometimes frighten me.

  29. Rick Manigault says:

    I like the pigmentation but hate the opinion. Hatred if the black race is trending right now And I’m worked up. Feel how you feel but I wish you would keep irrational fears in check.

  30. RisaLaShaun says:

    She has been CONDITIONED

  31. APSlater says:

    This is incredibly stupid. If she lives here on this planet then she knows the “black stereotypes” and all the things such as the handshakes that have become a “black thing.” Just because some people do those things and you don’t does not make you any less black and why in the world would you feel uncomfortable for not doing them. When white people do it how dodo you feel then? Is she a writer trying to get published or something?

  32. APSlater says:

    Idiot alert on this one!

  33. APSlater says:

    Oh what an idiot. I had no idea until I read this. You have never seen any other race misbehaving or being aggressive? You need couch time to stop your self hate! Stop sounding like the irratinoal racist pigs out there please.

  34. nattydreadsista says:

    We need to expand the stereotypes that society categorized us in. Not the first time that I’ve heard this and feel that we’ve been indoctrined to believe we only have one type of behavior or skill; instead we haven’t been taught that our individuality adds to the rainbow of our culture….and that’s ok.

  35. Johnw11 says:

    jillabuss  I believe you are of African descent. Please ignore the troll’s “reaction formation” defense mechanism that was directed at you. Generally speaking, “reaction formation” is soap box behavior in which people advocate against their own guilty feelings and thoughts. For example, a person who is a thief going around accusing other people of being thieves. Or, in this case, a troll posing as Black, going around accusing others of posing as Black. (It is much deeper than that, but hopefully you get the point.)
    That being said, if you don’t mind my saying so, I do think you could benefit from a more careful examination of your opinions regarding yourself and other Blacks. There is no need for you to be “ashamed” of being Black because you’ve observed other Blacks behaving in ways that you disapprove of.
    For example, here are some points you may want to reflect on:
    1. Do all Blacks behave in the manner that you observed these people behave? Of course not, therefore, what differentiates these Blacks from those you’ve observed generally who do not behave as those you mentioned behave?
    If you’re honest, the answer is poverty. When people are deprived of basic economic subsistence by society, they tend to reject and disrespect the mores of that society. This is true of ALL races. Society says don’t curse, talk loud, or otherwise misbehave in public; they say “m_____ F_____ society and its rules. I hear it professionally all the time, “society don’t give a f___ about me, and I don’t give a f___ about society.”
    2. The children were probably “grabbing” the candy because they were hungry. And the mothers were probably over reacting in PROTECTING their children in the manner they were, because they can’t protect them in other ways. That’s called “compensating.” They can’t provide for them all the things they want to, including safety in the streets, the home, food on the table as needed, safety from lynchers, etc. So they were probably “compensating,” or, making up for that sense of inadequacy, by engaging in the behavior you observed.
    3. Have you seen children of other races behave inappropriately in stores? I have. Not only grabbing candy, that’s mild compared to some things I’ve seen. For example, I once saw a white child about 6 y/o pull down his pants and urinate in retaliation for his mother (I guess) not buying him a water gun. All she said was, “that’s not going to change my mind.” 
    There were other whites and Blacks present. The Blacks appeared more upset than any of the whites. “If that was my child,” a Black woman said to another, “he wouldn’t be able to sit down for a month.”
    None of the whites appeared “ashamed” to be white in response to any of the incidents I’ve observed.
    When Blacks, failing to take into account the socio-economic context of behavior of other Blacks, and instead assign it to race, or being Black; that’s exactly what racists do. While excusing the same, or worse, behavior of themselves.
    Finally, while almost everyone values appropriate public behavior, when Blacks start feeling ashamed of their race because of these things, chances are the “shame” proceeded these encounters. That’s understandable, given the centuries of brainwashing white / supremacy racism has been teaching Blacks falsely that Blacks are “inferior.”
    Settle down, think, reflect, and grow to accept the fact that there is nothing wrong Blacks have done to be oppressed. Read up on Black history, learn that Blacks gave to the world civilization and virtually all its derivatives. Inferior people couldn’t have done that. And no children were misbehaving and stealing candy when the enslavers came to destroy those civilizations. Nor were they stealing candy on the chattel  slave plantations, but their not stealing candy didn’t end formal slavery. Children stealing candy didn’t start, nor end, Old Jim Crow. And it is not the cause, nor will it end, New Jim Crow.
    Besides, if I read the above article correctly, Ms. Small did not say she was “uncomfortable” around other Blacks because they misbehaved, she instead felt social anxiety around Blacks because she couldn’t behave as they behave.
    See how people can “project” their own thoughts and feelings onto others, as you did to Ms. Small?
    In this case, I’m glad you did project, because it afforded me an opportunity to be helpful. And I hope you are not offended by my directness.

  36. Johnw11 says:

    DonnaArtist  Omg, apparently they’ll not getting “very hostile and confrontational” about the right things because your worldwide racism / white supremacist hostility, confrontation, murder and pillage is continuing unabated and keeping you in control of Blacks. OMG!

    OMG. Everyone, please forgive me for responding to this troll. But it is a new troll and I should have one release.

  37. Johnw11 says:

    BayouCityBeauty  Not true. Your color is far more important in a racist society than your gender or humanity will ever be. That is fairytale land thinking and you know it. So, to quote Ron Isley, “Who do you think you’re fooling, trying to slick a can of oil?”
    That’s why if you are white, you are paid higher wages than a Black woman for doing the same work tasks, and on average more than Black men. And, you have 20 x the wealth of Back women and men, primarily because policies and laws are set-up to benefit you because of your race.
    If you are a Black woman, and has been psychologically mislead by those “feminist” college classes, ask your professor how come it is that over 1.5 million of your men are “missing” from society due to socio-economic policies, making it very difficult for you to find a husband (if that’s your flavor), while the white male – female ratio is nearly perfectly balanced. 
    And, if you’re a Black woman, ask why you suffer more from  a variety of psychophysiological illnesses caused by the stress of racism than your white female counterparts.
    If you are white, stop your “divide and conquer” con-game. if you are a Black woman, stop falling for the con-game.

  38. Johnw11 says:

    APSlater  At the end of the day, after all is said and done, in my opinion, your observation is correct — it’s attention seeking behavior. Period. What’s more catchy than “I’m uncomfortable around OTHER Blacks.” It’s a master marketing play!
    I only elaborated on it for context, which I now know was greatly needed.

  39. Johnw11 says:

    BayouCityBeauty  No she is not. She speaks the truth.

  40. DonnaArtist says:

    Lol i am in control of no one…. We are all in control of ourselves, what we do etc. live in Chgo and youll c what Im talking abt…. Tg it hasnt turned into riots and destroying neighborhoods. I just get a little tired of people thinking they r owed, make their own rules/ laws etc….stop blaming others for what they dont have and work for it instead of hangin on the corners. Youd be surprised how a broom and shovel can improve the look of ur neighborhood

  41. Johnw11 says:

    DonnaArtist  My last reply to you, because it’s obvious you do not have the intellectual depth to engage in high level discussion.
    I’ve already explained the facts, you present some credible data to dispel the facts that have been presented, if you’re intellectually capable. Otherwise, your self-serving delusional “cognitive dissonance” is a waste of everyone’s time.
    You are not the first racist troll to wander here with that kind of right wing, three-year-old-like, “concrete” thinking.
    But you are probably the first one that I’ve replied to twice. So, frankly, take your medal for that achievement and get lost.
    This is a professional question: does your loneliness often cause you to jump in other people’s conversations where you are not invited? If so, and it probably is, since disordered people (and you look borderline schizophrenic) tend to behave the same way in all their socio-environmental interactions, other whites are most likely sick of you also.

  42. MorganaLeFay says:

    We need to get past stereotypes here. Being able to do a black handshake isn’t going to be the making or breaking of someone. That notwithstanding, is this woman making an effort to grow closer with black Americans? Just because you grew up in a mostly white area doesn’t justify continued self-isolation because you don’t know the black handshake. I grew up in a British county that is mostly white, so there is a degree of isolation. Thankfully, my parents made sure to remind me that they come from Nigeria. As I grew up, I have made more of an effort to connect with black people around the world. Will she do this?

  43. MorganaLeFay says:

    jrob909 Dude, not all black people play basketball! I can’t play basketball either.

  44. MorganaLeFay says:

    DonnaArtist This comment is basically affirming… a racist stereotype.

  45. Rick Manigault says:

    Johnw11 So let me get this right. You support a person who says they fear and are uncomfortable around other blacks? Now we see the truth about Johny. “I hope you are not offended by my directness” you have to be sh–ting me. Did you even read what she said? Being ashamed of being black is tolerable? I see some Shaun King undercover well poisoning going on. 

    “We should check ourselves because Yes we are wrecking Ourselves. Perhaps if we treated one another with Respect, others would Respect us also” This goes against everything you ever said but would sell out to hate a brotha that brings way more to the table than you.

    A black man who believes that black children with help from the mother are stealing candy from the JC penny counter is lower than low. You should be more ashamed than even JIll. Cameras in JC penny and even passive criminal mothers would restrain such activity. You back Shaun because you are Shaun. A Caucasian male aspiring to be black by going on a comment section and pretending. You keep exposing the truth with every idiotic post.

  46. Rick Manigault says:

    Johnw11 Notice you are the only one who paid this person any mind. Damn thing looks like a computer wrote it.

  47. Rick Manigault says:

    Take this discussion and throw in what just “happened” in Va. In a week all about bashing us a disgruntled black reporter shots the reporter and camera man. Bovine excrement!

  48. LyndiaPitts says:

    I think teaching a person to hate himself, is much more criminal than teaching a person to hate someone else.

    Malcolm X

  49. LyndiaPitts says:

    jillabuss EricaGardner 
    Why don’t you bleach you skin and pass for white?

  50. LyndiaPitts says:

    I live in Chicago and there spots on the North side that are filthy, there are spots on the south and west side, that are BEAUTIFUL.
    Thus, what are you talking about? I live in the 19TH ward. THE POWERFUL 19TH WARD.

  51. HANNIBAL the VICTOR says:

    Rick Manigault Im srprised it took you this long 😉

  52. LyndiaPitts says:

    Do you feel the same way about white men that love, LOVE child pornography? I have seen white children running around stores, screaming to the top of their lungs. Additionally, whites kids are known for killing their families. What do YOU have to say about that. If you are shame to be Black, why don’t you bleach your skin and pass for white? It is people like YOU that holds the race back.

  53. LyndiaPitts says:

    jillabuss Rick Manigault 
    I was born and raised on the westside. I have an advanced degree, a Realtor’s license, and a home owner. Children are doing well, grandchildren are college graduates or college bound. Great grand children are all AWARD WINNING STUDENTS IN THE SOUTH SUBURBS. You should move into Mt. Greenwood, and go into Durbin’s where Blacks are CLEARLY NOT WELCOME. You might feel at home there. Sissified dummy.

  54. HANNIBAL the VICTOR says:

    DonnaArtist You are a classic white supremacist. You expect blacks to respond to white hostility with passivness. We should just roll over and take whatever abuse you decide to dish out. Not gonna happen dear!! Wise blacks understand that the only way to survive in america is to treat people EXACTLY the way they treat you. Not better , not worse , EXACTLLY the same.

  55. LyndiaPitts says:

    Would she or YOU feel comfortable in a trailer park, that houses poor, white, trash?

  56. LyndiaPitts says:

    Johnw11 BMo2xl 
    Internalized racism, is when you hate yourself, because of the color of your skin, your hair texture, your broad nose and thick lips. Internal racism, is having a deep HATERD for yourself. However, YOU will NEVER be accepted by whites, no matter how hard you try. A second grader would know that.

  57. jillabuss says:

    LyndiaPitts jillabuss Rick Manigault : I am positive my credentials read as well, if not better than yours. Yet the level of intelligence You choose to portray with name calling and insulting remarks say a lot about who You are. Education does not make one intelligent. Remember that for further reference.

  58. jillabuss says:

    LyndiaPitts jillabuss EricaGardner : Why so much anger and hostility. You are feeding into the “Angry Black Woman Stereotype. Appears you did not learn much with that higher level of education.

  59. LyndiaPitts says:

    jillabuss LyndiaPitts EricaGardner 
    I learned how to deal with fools like you.

  60. Watchful says:

    Rick Manigault

    That Virginia ‘shooting’ is just another episode in the continuing HOAX-A-THON, Rick.  That shite was even worse than the Walter Scott hoax. The acting in these fake ‘shootings’ gets worse with each subsequent episode … they’re not even bothering to make them look even remotely convincing anymore. SMH

  61. Johnw11 says:

    LyndiaPitts Johnw11 BMo2xl  That’s a good example of internalized racism. However, keep in mind that this article does not say that Ms. Small hates herself because she is Black, or that she hates herself at all. It stated that she feels “uncomfortable” around Blacks because she does not know their cultural mores, handshakes and vernacular, given that she was not acculturated as were they.
    There’s a big difference between the two. That’s why I see, as a behavioral health professional, no evidence of Ethnic Identity Disorder (EID), which can be defined as self-racial hate / rejection, which causes the sufferer to want to belong to another ethnic / racial group (usually the dominating more powerful group) from which the self rejection was “learned” in the first place.
    Since “learning” is conditioning, I agreed with BMo2xl observation of “cultural conditioning,” but rejected the idea of “internalized racism.”
    While your definition of internalized racism is correct, its application to this case is misplaced, in my judgment.
    As I’ve stated in a previous posts (in this and other discussions on this site), there is more evidence of “internalized racism” in comments by Blacks who boast of their “Black pride” that I’ve read wherein they blame other Blacks for the effects of racism, than in Ms. Small’s case.
    Although the comments are made in ignorance, it is still internalized racism, by your apt definition, when a Black ignores the fact that Blacks, while making-up 12-14% of the population, but having only -1.75% of U.S. wealth due to racist socio-economic sanctioning policies against Blacks, states that Blacks have all the wealth they need and that they can not blame “racism” for the outcomes of their “not saving” and poor “spending” choices. That’s internalized racism, even though the fools may talk Black, because it’s the same things racists say about Blacks — “no one is controlling you, stop blaming others,” etc., in the racists’ denial of white supremacist exploitation of Blacks.
    See my point?
    Even jillabus, while far more” self-hating” than Ms. Small, probably does not meet the criteria of EID. He doesn’t hate Blacks in general, he hates them when, in his view, they misbehave in public, which makes him feel “ashamed” to be Black. That’s also a big difference between some one who wants to be white and rejects self and Blacks out of hand. 
    In his case, the problem is “concrete” (here and now, no analysis) thinking, rather than “abstract” (analysis of cause and effect) thinking. 
    For example, when he says he has to “sometimes watch my money” around Blacks, what he means is that when he is around impoverished Blacks, he is likely to be robbed. Which is true.  The problem is, not only is he intellectually incapable of understanding socio-economic circumstances that make it true, but he also doesn’t understand the cause of the socio-circumstances — white supremacist policies that impoverishes over half of Blacks; hence, abstract thinking is not being done. Therefore, he just sees “Black,” and not “policy.”  
    If these things can be explained to him, and he agrees to try to understand, he’ll be just fine. Given this reality, the goal-objective must be to educate, not scold. After scolding, he will not have learned anything useful, only become more harden in his “concrete” thinking. After education, he’ ll be ready to make a contribution. 
    After a while, and adequate time has been expended, and he still doesn’t get it, then it’s time to move on. It is because of the latter principle, that you don’t see me responding to fools to whom adequate time has already been given. Despite the fact that some of them  are clamoring for my attention
    Thanks for your feedback, would like to exchange ideas with you on other topics,

  62. jillabuss says:

    LyndiaPitts jillabuss EricaGardner : Through Anger and Hostility because that is all You are exhibiting here.

  63. jillabuss says:

    Johnw11 LyndiaPitts BMo2xl : Self hatred is the least of my passions. I love Me above and beyond anything on the top side of this earth. When I return, if reincarnation is true, I want to be Brown, the color I am now. Any other hue or shade is unacceptable. Behavior is the issue that concerns me with SOME Americans of African Heritage. Behavior is the issue that concerns me with ALL RACES and cultures. WE all have failed our purpose in this space and time.

  64. JEWELsade says:

    WHERE WAS SHE FOUND!, send her back OVER to the enemy’s TENT. 
    Tell her black people are currently dealing with white supremacy, and the last thing we wanna do is to assist a negro in finding themselves.

  65. rneequaye says:

    This is totally absurd.  Is she actually equating being black with a handshake?

  66. kingkodac says:

    Insecurity! Maybe due to people making fun of the way She looks…

  67. queenofmeanest says:

    I can say the same thing about whites like yourself.  YOU cannot afford to drive in my neighborhood.  There are too many Bentley’s in the driveways.  I am sick and tired of you whites thinking that based on the color of your skin that you are entitled to everything that is not nailed or glued down.  Your legacy will always be lying, cheating, stealing and killing.

    So stop blaming BLACKS and OBAMA for everything.

  68. queenofmeanest says:

    jillabuss Rick Manigault 
    I have a problem with your story about JC Penney.  Knowing that store like I do, JC Penney does not really cater to the black community, but treat every black shopper as a criminal.  If this was the case, the police would have been called.

  69. jillabuss says:

    queenofmeanest jillabuss Rick Manigault : J.C Penny is one of the few stores that have remained in the community where I live. If you have had the experience of being treated like a criminal in their stores must be a reason, because I have not had the experience. No they do not call the police all the time, yet they do have security.

  70. queenofmeanest says:

    jillabuss queenofmeanest Rick Manigault 
    First of all I DO NOT shop at J.C. Penny.  In 1986, a pregnant black woman was  was beaten by 2 security officers at a J.C. Penny store supposedly for shoplifting.  The video of the beating was brutal.  The video was shown on BBC, REuters, CNNi, BET (when Mr. Johnson owned it) and other international media outlets. That video went viral internationally.  It later was determined that she did not shoplift anything.
    As I have said, there is something wrong with that story.  If that was the case like you described the incident, why wasn’t security called or better yet the police?

    The reason why you live in a area close to a J.C. Penney is because you moved into that community, not the other way around.  J.C. Penney goes out of their way to make sure that their stores are in more predominantly white communities. 

    A black person does not have to do anything criminal.  That person has to be BLACK only.

  71. queenofmeanest says:

    HANNIBAL the VICTOR Rick Manigault 
    Don’t feel bad, I was accused of being a white woman earlier this year because of my opinion on the Michael Brown incident.  I am a strict black mother that will do anything to protect my children by any means necessary.

  72. jillabuss says:

    queenofmeanest jillabuss Rick Manigault  Have lived in my community for over twenty years and have never experienced flagging by JC Penny employees. Happy to say all of my experiences with this store have been positive. Regardless of what many say, Some African Americans should change their attitudes and behavior when operating in public settings.

  73. queenofmeanest says:

    jillabuss queenofmeanest Rick Manigault 
    Give them time.

  74. Blackcat63 says:

    A complete suscess of self hate. This is what  400 years of lost history looks like. Shes just as lost as the ones we lost in th middle passage. Sheep that run with a pack of wolfs.

  75. queenofmeanest says:

    Johnw11 DonnaArtist 
    I met a black woman in Houston recently.  She said that she has to get some creme for her “sunburn”.  She claimed that her recent move to Houston has caused her skin to change from white to dark.  I got a good look at her hairline, black woman’s butt and breasts.
    She claimed that her father, which she refers to as “Father” and her refers to her as daughter and when you try to pin her down she then claims that she is adopted.
    I got her name and went to a higher authority “GOOGLE” regarding her “racial” status.  Guess what I found? Two of her mugshots with her racial identity.  She is black.  When I ran into her, I showed her mugshots to her and I walked away.
    The look on her face was priceless.

  76. jillabuss says:

    LyndiaPitts DonnaArtist The powerful 19th ward established by, the gangster politicians that run Chicago, started by that crooked mayor named Daley. You know Donna one day I was in a store and heard 2 Anglo Saxons talking about Blacks. I walked up to them and pointed out a few facts. I happened to be wearing a black, double breasted trench coat. I extended my hand and inquired of them what color did they see. They both looked confused, so I asked, is my hand the same color as this coat? They both responded NO. I then proceeded to pick up a White sheet of construction paper and held it up to their hands and asked them did the color of their skin look like the color of the paper, they both responded NO. I walked away without saying a word. They both stood their with their mouths hanging open looking like the fools most people who live in a fog of delusion do.

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